4 Ways to Improve Parent-Child Relationships After Divorce
While a married couple goes through a long and painful process of marriage dissolution, their children also experience difficult times adjusting to a new lifestyle. The primary concern of every parent preparing for divorce is how it will affect their children and how to protect them from harm.
According to recent CompleteCase.com research, the percentage of divorces in couples with children is 40% lower than that of childless couples. 75% of children stay with their mother, and only half of those have frequent communication with the other parent.
No matter who gets physical and legal custody, children need as much love and care as possible. It is essential to act in such a way as to put the child's interests above all else.
The thing that terrifies a child the most is the thought of one of the parents leaving the family, thus changing the only way of life they have ever known. To make sure that their children get equal time with each parent, some divorcing couples decide to split custody in half.
But even for parents with less parenting time, there are many ways to give a child the best moments in life.
1. Diversify meetings with your child
There are so many entertaining things you can do together. The choice of activities depends on the preferences and cultural interests.
You can have a picnic in the park, feed animals and birds, go to the swimming pool or water park, visit the zoo, or attend an exhibition, a quest, or a master class. Your visitation time is a perfect opportunity to get to know your child better and create amazing memories together.
If you're not in the mood to go outside, you can read, play computer games, collect jigsaw puzzles, or just cook and eat a traditional meal. In other words, be an enthusiastic participant in all activities that your child wants to engage in.
Organize as many varied activities as possible with your children. Remember that movement and an active lifestyle are beneficial, if not vital, for every individual's health. Try wandering around the park together, picking up leaves, or examining plants. Such an occupation involves both movement and cognition.
Collect souvenirs to remind yourself and your children of the happy moments and events. They can be drawings made by the child for you or a kite that you flew together in the park. In the future, you and your child will look through these things more than once and recall the joyful moments spent together.
2. Share your child's interests
Your presence at your child's sporting events or their school play is of great importance. Ask about the details and preparation long before the final event, discuss everything together, find out about your child's emotions, and offer your help. After the game or the play, organize a celebration, no matter how small or grandiose it is. The point is to show your genuine interest in everything that your child does.
If your child doesn't know yet what hobby to choose, help them. Don't forget to take their age and aptitude into account. You need to find an activity that will best develop your child's abilities. It is your chance to discover an exciting pastime together. Give your son his first guitar and buy your daughter her first set of paintbrushes. Rest assured that you will be associated with this hobby for many years to come.
The main idea here is that these activities should not be forced. Otherwise, they will bring neither benefit nor satisfaction. Allow your children to decide for themselves what they want to do and support them in their choice.
Remember the most crucial thing - respect your child's hobbies, engage in your children's interests, and always listen attentively to what they have to tell you.
3. Develop effective communication with your kids
Parents need to be able to communicate openly with their children. Effective communication has its advantages not only for children but also for every member of the family. Meaningful and cordial conversations significantly improve the relationship between all the participants.
For starters, talk more often with your child. Discuss everything that you did during the day and why these matters are essential to you, ask your children their opinion and how they feel about every little thing. It is also beneficial for the child to learn to express their thoughts correctly.
Always listen carefully to your kids during the conversation. Nothing is more frustrating than a lack of attention. Put away your phone and ignore unimportant calls and messages. Your child needs your full concentration.
Communication doesn't always have to touch upon serious topics. The smaller a child, the more relaxed and funny your interaction should be. Laughter and jokes are vital components of daily communication.
Remember that kids live in their own world, full of happiness and games. Some adults believe that when playing with children, they show weakness and demonstrate an inability to make serious decisions in life.
When you laugh with your kids, they perceive you as a friend and begin to feel more confident. Such friendly interaction helps a child relax and openly express their thoughts and feelings.
4. Use technology for communication when you are away
As a part of every divorce decree, you will have a visitation schedule that determines the time and frequency of communication with your child. But what if you need to be away for business or move to another city or country? This is not a reason or an obstacle to stop from seeing your child thanks to modern technologies and applications.
There are so many ways for communication between a child and a parent who live separately - phone, text messaging, social networks, Skype, voice messaging, and instant messengers.
If you moved to a nearby town, you could take your child for the weekend. For longer periods, use school breaks or national holidays. If you have those days in your visitation schedule, pick up your kids and go on a trip together.
Final word
If your children are suffering the consequences of your divorce, do not neglect your parental responsibilities. Divorce is not the end of the world and certainly is not a reason to forget about your kids. Now more than ever, they need your care and attention. Remember that they will not always stay small. Someday they will grow up and decide for themselves if they want to keep in touch with you or not. Don't miss your opportunity to strengthen your ties while you still can.