Khloe Kardashian admits she once came close to losing herself to a life of boozing and nonstop partying.

Radar Online reports in her new tell-all "Strong Looks Better Naked," the reality TV star details a "dark past" following the 2003 death of father Robert Kardashian Sr. where she desperately sought to escape all her pain.

"I was 19 at the time, and to say I didn't handle his death well is an understatement," she said.

"I didn't turn to drugs, but I certainly drowned my sorrows in drink, and the partying soon got out of hand. I was underage and behaving recklessly in clubs and at private parties."

After her father lost his battle with cancer, Kardashian also remembers isolating herself from family and turning to those she now realizes didn't always have her best interest at heart.

"During this period, I became aware of how easy it is to become a binge drinker," she said. "I see pictures of myself at the time, and I was so bloated that I look like I'm 45 years old."

Kardashian remembers older sister Kourtney finally be able to pull her from her doldrums, at least partly by giving her job a managerial job at Dash, the family's first female boutique.

Ironically, enough Kardashian is now being credited by some with playing the role of savior for estranged husband Lamar Odom. The former NBA star was recently hospitalized following an apparent drug overdose and Kardashian has been at his bedside around the clock since he was rushed to an emergency room.

 "I didn't end up in rehab because Kourtney put her foot down and forced me to take control of my life, but I probably came close," Khloe recalls.

Since he's been hospitalized, she and Odom have formally called off divorce proceedings that were once pending.