Tori Spelling is breaking her silence. She is putting the smile away and admitting the nightmare that she has been living ever since she found out about her husband's infidelity. Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling have been married for seven years and have four kids together; Tori tells Us Magazine how she feels today.

Her name is Emily Goodhand, a 28-year-old woman who, in around November of 2013, had an affair with actor Dean McDermott. In her first post-scandal interview with Us Magazine, Tori Spelling tells all. "He was my soulmate, but he completely broke my heart," says Spelling about her husband whom she has four kids, Liam, 7, Stella, 5, Hattie, 2, and Finn, 20 months. "It makes you not trust anything that's happened in your relationship."

The Beverly Hills, 90210 star is no stranger to living a publicized life. She has shared the big screen with her husband Dean from the very beginning of their relationship through the Oxygen hit reality show Tori & Dean: Inn Love. But many might think that Tori's heartbreak might be karma? Dean, a Canadian actor, had been married to Mary Jo Eustace when he met Tori on the set of the Lifetime TV movie, Mind Over Murder. The two began an affair despite the fact that they were both married at the time. Shortly after, they were divorced and starting a life together.

Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood is Spelling's and McDermott new version of their reality series. Four kids, financial struggles and a rumored divorced later; the couple's life doesn't seem too "lovable" anymore. Goodhand, McDermott's mistress, even claimed that he told her he was in a "sexless marriage" with 40-year old Spelling. So what can we expect for the future of one of America's most loved couples and their reality show? Actually, Tori plans to tell us in her upcoming Lifetime-docu series, True Tori, premiering on April 22.

Spelling's up's and downs have always been televised and if this helps her deal with the situation, why stop now? During the show Dean and Tori attend couples therapy, she describes the moment she confronted Dean about his cheating, how she is protecting her children and why she didn't kick him out. The star admits; "I feel so judged, but it's not black and white."

Good luck to Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott.