How to Find Out If Your Partner Might Be Having an Affair?

Call it a gut feeling or intuition, but sometimes we can feel something has gone off in our relationship long before we can identify what that looks like. For some, the feeling is nothing more than anxiety, minor insecurity about where we stand. For others, the suspicion is our partner is having an affair.

Aside from confronting them on a hunch, here's how to find out if your partner is having an affair:

Establish a Starting Point

When piecing together a timeline, always start by running a background check. This will give you a starting point on any red flags that you aren't aware of (whether through omission or by lying) and can help you pinpoint anything that stands out. Although you probably know most of his history, pay close attention to the credit report and any financial details listed.

Look for any unfamiliar accounts: credit cards, loans, lines of credit, or utilities that haven't been disclosed to you. These financial accounts will likely be something paid privately, or the balances will be higher than he indicates.

Undisclosed financial accounts suggest expenses that are occurring independently from the family expenses. Things like hotel rooms, gifts, dinners, or bill payments being covered are all likely to be unearthed with a bit of searching.

Check out his social media

With social media becoming increasingly popular, there's a chance that any new interests may be connected to his profile on social media platforms. Take a look through his friend lists to see if there are any names you don't recognize and watch for them online. Although most affairs will know of the partner, many will still subtly interact with the page.

If you did purchase the background check, look at the social media accounts linked to his report. If there are any accounts you don't recognize, create a new account on social media (with a random name and email) and browse for the account. When having an affair, it's common to have a secondary account on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Investigate any Text or Messaging

Although most people having an affair think enough to delete messages, there may be a few instances of message histories remaining intact. One example of this would be a password-protected phone. If someone believes their account is protected by a biometric password or a numerical password, they are more likely to leave the account history.

Unfortunately, it also makes checking for an affair difficult (unless you know the passcode). Additionally, if you can look at the messages throughout the day, perhaps while your partner is sleeping or showering, you're more likely to find a history of the conversation. Finally, take a quick browse through any contacts on the phone. If there are names or numbers you don't recognize, open the call history on the contact page. The history should show the last time they spoke, the duration, and the frequency they interact. If you notice odd hours or contact when he knows you're unavailable, there's a good chance he's having an affair.

There's a new name in conversations

When you're in a committed relationship, you get a pretty good indication of who means the most to him quickly. Male or female, friendships are important to have and maintain, especially the ones who have been there for a long time. But, if a new name pops up in conversations that you've never heard before, it may be worth a few more questions.

Ask about their friendship, when and how they met, and how often they talk. If he tenses up during any of these questions, there's a good chance they are not truthful about their past. One of the best ways to determine the type of relationship they have is to invite the friend over for dinner.