'American Horror Story: Coven' Cast, Plot & Review: Episode 5 Recap - 'Burn, Witch, Burn' Delivers Fiery Conclusion
Has "American Horror Story" outdone "The Walking Dead?" The AMC zombie drama has had some pretty fantastic zombie kills throughout its run, but Season 4 has been pretty lame in terms of kills.
Last night on AHS, a zombie was cut straight in half via chainsaw. Like straight down the middle, and by a teenage girl nonetheless. I think "The Walking Dead" may need to step its game up. That aside, let's take a look at some memorable moments from last night's "Burn, Witch, Burn."
Zoe's new power
Every TV show has a polarizing character. In this case, it's Zoe. I've simultaneously hated and enjoyed her presence on the show, and a perfect example occurred at the beginning of the episode.
Laveau was in the middle of her resurrection spell, causing zombies to descend on the Salem witch house. Zoe's first response to the impending chaos was, "Should we call the cops?" Excuse me? Does this girl not realize she's a witch who kills men by having sex with them?
After showing us that there is such thing as a stupid question, she decided to distract the zombies from eating Nan and Luke (who's also an idiot) by clanging pots and pans together. Apparently she didn't know the zombies would now be after her now and thought they would join her for a hearty bowl of chili.
When I was finally hoping the zombies would just eat her for being so stupid, she decided to grab a chainsaw and go Leatherface mode, killing them in various, horrifyingly terrific ways. Zoe went from useless to awesome in, like, two seconds. Then she discovered a new power that stopped the spell completely and caused Laveau to realize there's a new badass witch in town. But is Zoe the new Supreme? She's too naïve to realize it if she was, but she still has some competition and her name is Misty Day (more on her welcome reappearance later).
A valuable exchange
Fiona took one look at Cordelia's acid-ridden face and let out a horrifying scream. Very encouraging, Fiona! At the hospital, she found out that Cordelia would most likely be blind forever, so she decided to take it upon herself to pop a lot of pills, get drunk and resurrect a stillborn baby.
That latter scene just came from out of nowhere, but I think it was meant to show Jessica Lange at her very best. Getting the grieving mother to talk to her baby was a means for Fiona to cope with how horrible a mother she's been to Cordelia.
Later, Hank, a.k.a psycho sex assassin, paid a grief-stricken visit to his wife, but Fiona could "smell the bulls-t" on him. We still don't know what Hank's deal is, but now, thanks to Cordelia's recent attack, she knows something is up. Going blind has caused her to gain another type of sight, specifically images of Hank cheating on her and shooting his redheaded hookup in the head.
Burning witches. It's casual
The other main event of last night's episode was the trial of Myrtle Snow, who may or may not have been responsible for throwing acid in Cordelia's face.
At first, to the audience at least, it was clear Myrtle committed the crime to make it look like Fiona was a terrible coven leader. The council wanted to take over, but Fiona managed to prove that Myrtle was the culprit when she showed us Myrtle's acid-covered hand, her crazy Carrie Matheson-style Fiona collage and her memory of seeing Myrtle in the hospital elevator.
The council unanimously decided to execute Myrtle by setting her on fire, which is the norm. The scene where Myrtle was burned at the stake was both terrifying and hilarious, because a very out-of-place "Right Place Wrong Time" was playing in the background, and because Fiona lit the fire with her cigarette.
Later though, we found out Queenie helped Fiona out by placing the burn on Myrtle's hand with her voodoo power. However, the fact that we saw Myrtle in the elevator and the fact that she so willingly gave herself up "to the flame" made it unclear whether she did it or not.
Regardless, none of this matters because Misty Day reappeared during the episode's conclusion to resurrect a toasty Myrtle (but still, RIP Myrtle's hair).
Charms
- Kyle is still MIA and Zoe and the writers seem to have forgotten about him. Modern-day Frankenstein is still on the loose, no biggie.
- We got a deeper look into how much of psychotic monster LaLaurie used to be, torturing her daughters and such. When one of her newly resurrected daughters tried to take revenge, she performed her first act of kindness by stabbing her in the heart.
- Queenie's nonchalant reactions to the "army of darkness" attack was hilarious.
- Spalding continues to dress in baby clothes, have tea parties with his dolls and keep the corpse of Madison hidden in a box. He, and hopefully all of us, freaked out when her limb ripped off.
- "You're no better than the men who stand around outside of Home Depot."
Verdict: Zoe wielded a chainsaw and split a zombie in half, so no matter what, this episode was going to be decent.
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