Whores, sluts, attention hogs, pathetic, un-lady like and bad role models. These are just subtle versions of how today's female artists are described. We live in a country where we are taught that publicizing a woman's sexuality is not okay. Damned be the female that dares to break the norm. This is a concept hard to believe as our favorite music and the sound of our generations have always been "over sexualized".

Miley Cyrus only performs in vagina-hugging leotards and Rihanna can't sing at a concert without grabbing her crotch. Madonna is the queen of artistic sensuality and Lady Gaga... well, she recreated sex on T.V. These women are the icons of our time. America, a country so free yet so afraid of sex. Well... afraid only when a woman rolls around in a thong in a music video, but not when a man talks about it. Why can't female artists express themselves in the same way men do? Male rappers are the kings of in-your-face sexual word play but when Rihanna does it, your jaw drops in disappointment? So what is really the problem here? An over sexualized female artist, or a biased country lost in a close-minded paradox?

I know what you're thinking -- "here we go another little feminist defending some whores," but no -- because my initial judgment was just like yours. Even being a Rihanna fan, I was horrified by the "Pour It Up" video. I told my friend that I never wanted to see it again. Rihanna is one of the top selling artist and endorsers of our time. Say what you want about the girl, but she has taken full advantage of her stardom and is making some serious money. So why would a respected artist at her level just throw on a thong, a bra and put a "blunt" in her mouth, as she twerked for the camera as some type of "video hoe"? My friend answered: "Because if men can do it so can she".

As individuals, we're all into our own "thing." Rihanna likes sex, the female body and reefer, so that's what she wanted to express through her music video. Why should Rihanna be expected to act like a lady if she's not? When did Americans fall into this imprisoned mindset of black and white? Women like sex too and sometimes we just want to shake our booties and show you how sexy we feel. But no, not in America -- that's wrong. You are only allowed to be "a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets." Behind closed doors. With a lock. Without windows. In the dark. And yet Ludacris gets to rap about "licking you from your head to your toes" with a bunch of half naked women in the music video and it's called a hit. Although Rihanna's "Pour It Up" can be considered a popular song it got some pretty harsh criticism too. I'm not pointing fingers saying this is YOUR problem because this is our problem as a country. "Me Gusta Pero Me Asusta (I like it but I'm afraid of it)," a song by Mexican artist Ana Barbara, proves my point here. My thoughts aren't going to change the world but it sure will make you think twice before you judge another woman again.

Like it or not, woman in the entertainment business are a reflection of women all over. If you disagree, think back to what urged you to buy those pair of shoes you love so much! Have you ever found yourself thinking, "wow I wish I could be as ballsy as Lady Gaga... if I was at her level I would have probably done that too?" Boom -- we are all a little bit alike, just that they are at a position where, if they say it and are reprimanded, life goes on. Do I wish I could run around in a thong? No, not necessarily, but if I wanted to say the word "sex" in public I shouldn't be looked at as a floosy. Anyway... when did I come to terms with my Rihanna video? When I watched Beyoncé's "Partition" music video, and I didn't even think to judge her for doing the same thing Rihanna did.

If you haven't checked out Beyoncé's self-titled surprise album with a music video to every song, well you're not only late but you're missing out. Back to my point...

"Partition" features Beyoncé pole dancing in a thong, showing all that god gave her along with some pretty intense lyrics: "Driver put up the partition please, don't want you to see Yoncé on her knees." (Say What??!!!) But since Beyoncé is one of the most accomplished artists of all time and is also a married mom, I didn't think for one minute that anything that she did in this video was classless. That's when it hit me: Beyoncé has always carried herself gracefully and with lots of class, Rihanna has not -- so what? They are two different women feeling the same way but expressing it at different points of their lives and careers. We are not one in this country and everybody should be respected as an individual. Men or woman, sexual or not, our automatic reaction to judge is wrong. If women like Rihanna, Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga want to party, have sex and smoke, it's their prerogative, bet your mom did it at one point too, she just didn't tell you and it wasn't in the public eye. Are you going to judge your mom?

This "piece of work" isn't going to change your mind or an entire country, but it can be an epiphany just like it was for me. Are you in control of your mind or has society consumed you to the point that you don't even know what your own opinion is? Ladies, the next time you listen to 2 Chainz singing about a "big booty hoe," are you still going to twerk to it and then call Lady Gaga a bad role model for wearing a thong and a sea shell bra to the VMAs? Remember Christina Aguilera's song "Can't Hold Us Down" featuring Lil' Kim? "He can even give us some head, sex a roar, but if the girl do the same then she's a whore." Lil' Kim, being such a sex symbol and one of the most X-rated female rappers, served for a lot of controversy. Why? Because, like in "Can't Hold Us Down," she was rapping about the same things Biggie was. Some of her lyrics were so explicit that many of us couldn't even handle it and again she was called a slut, a whore, and a disgusting woman. Is it because she was rapping? What you were thinking? Why does it make us so uncomfortable to hear a woman say these things out loud? Our reputations shouldn't be defined by the natural human need for sex. She is an adult isn't she? So why do we judge her "ladiness" upon expressing a common desire out loud. Music is a release of our inner feelings and music videos take you into one mindset with the artist. That's what this entire music thing is about. A mutual connection between our feelings and their delivery of this sentiment to the entire world, we kind of work together.

Let's go all the way back to Marilyn Monroe. Have you ever seen past her symbolism and analyzed why she was such a shock to America? A woman in the 1950s who actually dared to be sexy. The woman on the first cover of Playboy Magazine. The first icon in Hollywood who took her clothes off and ripped the tape off of her mouth and dared to say the word sex. So why did it take so long? One time, while having a conversation with my father I told him how much " I loved Marilyn Monroe." This is a man who had vintage Marilyn Monroe framed pictures at our house. Even though he himself had an appreciation for Marilyn, he opened his eyes wide and said, "Don't you dare ever say that, you didn't know that woman, I knew that woman and she was not a lady." Though my father didn't personally know Ms. Monroe, he meant that he actually lived the times of her existence and got to see what she was like. This made me love her even more because, to this day, people tremble at the thought of a woman who broke the cycle of an unrealistic image of the perfect Hollywood actress and woman. Yes, she had an affair with the United States president and she liked attention as well as being naked, but guess what? President Kennedy liked her too, he also liked attention and possibly enjoyed being naked (not a proven fact) and though his affairs weren't okay, people applauded him for being such a "playboy." Elizabeth Taylor was also a woman of those times who pushed the envelope -- even though all she simply did was be herself and use the freedom she was given to love. Can we allow the female artist of our time to shake things up too? After all, "well behaved women rarely make history" -- Marilyn Monroe.

Let's questions ourselves a little more often. Let's explore human tolerance. Go beyond the lyrics of a song and try to reach the creation behind a music video. Yes, Beyoncé's breasts are perfect but ask yourself what she was trying to present to you beyond that? Hey, maybe I'm wrong and all of these women are all plain freaks and that's it. But that's the beauty of the dimensions of learning and understanding. Of going past what you know, what you have been taught and exploring someone else's point of view. Is this country biased? Why is it biased? Are you biased? Think about it and embrace the power of sex (ooh, I said sex).