For once, a weird crime didn't happen in Florida: a New Jersey man is under arrest after he crashed his car into a Crown Fried Chicken in Philadelphia... then stripped down naked and stole a meal.

According to Philadelphia Magazine, Vincent Wade -- who has been convicted of DUI three times prior to this latest incident -- crashed his car into the Crown Fried Chicken on Lehigh Avenue. He then got out of the car, completely naked, and began to masturbate in front of all passersby and patrons... in front of a bin of black oil sludge that was drained from the friers before stealing a ten-piece.

He was subsequently arrested.

From the police report: "On January 27, 2014, at approximately 10:30 a.m., police responded to 500 West Lehigh Avenue for an auto accident. Upon their arrival officers observed a vehicle on the curbside of the southwest corner of 5th & Lehigh Avenue. The male operator was seated in the driver's seat of a 2007 Silver Camry with no shirt on. The male was asked to step out of the vehicle and when he, did the male was unable to stand on his own. His clothes were torn off and he was unable to respond to police questions. Witnesses to the accident stated that the male was operating his vehicle west on Lehigh Avenue and then veered across the intersection at 5th Street and drove on to the curb hitting a fixed object. After the accident,the male operator exited the vehicle and began removing his clothing and yelling. He then attempted to drive off; however, someone was able to remove the keys and hold them until police arrived. The operator was identified as 34 year old Vincent Wade from Pennsauken, New Jersey. He was charged with Driving Under the Influence; no injuries reported."

And of course, in this digital age, we now have a VIDEO of this pile of awesome. (Of course it's censored... this is a family friendly site!) You can check it out below.