Florida continues to make the news when it doesn't want to, and the trend continues with this latest bit of news out of Punta Gorda, a town on the West Coast of the state. Here, Maria Montenez-Colon sits in jail after calling 911 when a police officer who came to her front door refused to have sex with her.

According to NBC2 News, the police were called to Colon's house because she signed her Corvette over to her stepson after her husband's death, but she wanted to renege on the deal. Needless to say, the discussions between step-mother and step-son got heated, and the police came to the house to sort the mess out.

When Lt. Joe King of the Punta Gorda Police Department came to her front door, she asked if he was married, told him he was sexy, and delivered this classic line to him: "I haven't been penetrated in years. I'm so horny."

Lt. King ignored her come-ons, so Colon turned it all the way up to 200: she told the officer that he could "f**k her." King then gave her the information to call for non-emergency situations, noting that she was "wasted" and there was nothing he could do for her or her step-son.

And with this rejection, Colon called 911 to complain that Lt. King refused to have sex with her.

"He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to f**k me, he turned me down so that made me angry," she said. The officers then warned her about what would happen if she continued to misuse 911... to which Colon responded, "how else am I going to get you to f**k me?" (I guess asking the man out for a drink and some dinner is something only New Yorkers do... it's that strange liberal ritual that only exists in states north of the Mason-Dixon line...)

And thus, she sits in jail.

Check out the news report about this hilariously awful situation: